Tuesday, February 28, 2006
harloooooo...
hehe..im quite high now..haha..but oso tired nar..yupyup.. so long nv felt dis happy le? 2day go exercise wif poh eng..haha..suppose go gym..den we c all guys den we paiseh..haha..end up we run..sia la..she veri pro..haha..i run a 3rounds cannot take it le..so most of e time i was walkin nar..haha..i muz improve my stamina..!! wahahaha.. tink thur or fri we gg again..hee..
aft running..we rested veri long sia..haha..was talkin all e way..hehe..den aft tt decided go outside sch eat..den eat at cine..haha..yup yup..den wanted 2 buy sports bra de..but all so ex..!! $40+ was e cheapest we saw..!! haix..there goes my sports bra....... sadded.. well mayb next time when i c cheaper den consider? haha..yup yup..
haix..i feel so guilty rite now..haix..
mum... y? y cant u juz let mi be? do u noe im totally a diff person fr wat u noe? sigh.. i wan 2 care for u..comfort u..n even dad..i wan our fam 2 b close..but den... haix.. u all r pushin mi away... u noe e more u stop mi fr meetin him..e more i wan.. n e ways i use is not those u all will like de.. i noe.. i noe its wrong..so wrong.. tt's y i wanted 2 change..i wanted 2 b truth 2 u all.. but den u all dun let mi c him.. den u all have 2 worry if im telling e truth.. dad..u say i everytime get heartache cos u all dun let mi c him..for wat.. u asked..now i ask u.. u all now have 2 worry if im lyin or not.. or hurt if u find out i lie.. for wat..? im ur daughter.. i wan u all 2 trust mi oso.. i wan 2 tell u tings abt mi.. i wan 2 share..!! but den u all r pushin mi away..
mayb im immature.. i admit i am.. but den i juz wan 2 b free.. i wan 2 choose my path.. n if i regret.. i wan 2 noe u all will still b there cos u all are my parents.. but instead i believe if now i tell u all we break le.. u all will juz say..nvm..there are more guys.. but tt's not wat i wan.. i dun even wan 2 hear i told u so.. i dun even wan 2 hear anyting.. i juz need a hug.. 2 noe tt u all will always b there when i fall.. but u noe wat? i feel so alone.. even in my own house.... im gettin tired...
sigh..i reali veri upset when i go out wif my frdx..cos i noe baby will upset.. i'll hurt him again..haix..den he'll have tt conversation wif mi..though i noe each time he will say it n dun mean it..i still hurt.. im afraid e day will come when he reali mean it..or when i get tired le.. sigh.. but i wun blame u.. cos i noe u've tried.. muacks.. i love u.. hee.. but plx try 2 understand my position oso okie? muacks.. sometimes when i go out wif frdx...im scared 2 tell u leh..i scared lata u wan 2 join den i dun noe how le..cos i noe my frdx will scared 2 feel like lightbulb..haix.. den im lost..den... haix.. reali.. muacks.. baby.. i need u.. i need ur care.. i need ur understanding.. i need ur everyting..!! I LOVE YOU..!!
thinking of you @ 6:25 PM